I can't speak for anyone else, but by my observations here I think the best way to help (if you're not a programmer; boy howdy do we all need more of those around here in the Uru community) is to assist in integration and communication between the various groups (and not just these two, but the independents as well). Also, finding new and fresh blood... err.. I mean talent.
From my perspective (these are not
exclusive, but simply an overall focus):
OU is very managerial. GoW is very developmental. (I mean no offense. OU members have obviously done development. MOSS is a great testament to this. GoW has management of the group, loose as it may be. As I said, I'm talking about focus) This is primarily an outcome of the various positions and histories of the group. Personally I think it's terrific we have both styles because each fills a need the other lacks or has less interest in spending time on, and as we are all (to my knowledge; at least I certainly am!) volunteers, it's important for us to be playing to our strengths and interests.
The touchiness you sensed has come about from when these differing methodologies sometimes clash. We have differing ideological perspectives, as individuals
and groups. Also, one may notice that the Uru community as a whole is often less than harmonious due to its vastly diverse nature, and this shows here as much as everywhere else. Fortunately we all have (roughly) the same goals, and it seems that the reality of that situation may prevail. One can hope, as we continue to all work together for the improvements we've all waited and worked so long to achieve.
There's much to be done, in pretty much every level from raw coding, to new content, to figuring out how best to get these items back into mainline Cyan's hands, as well as the things we still need from them to do these things to the best of our abilities. In that sense, perhaps ask not what you can do to help, but rather what
can't you do?
Find something that's already being done by someone who is overloaded (pretty much everyone, OU/GoW/otherwise) and offer to help. If it's within your talents to do so, of course, it will be appreciated.